Speaking The Truth
by fireball13
Summary: A short alternative version of the Deeks/Talia conversation in the boatshed. Taking place during 5x24
1. Chapter 1

**A/T: Please don't hate me. I just had this idea stuck in my head and had to release it.**

**I don't own the character!**

**Enjoy!**

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When Deeks woke up that morning he surely didn't expect the day to take this curious turn. Kensi and Talia sitting in the same room? Fate was playing some weird games on him that he clearly didn't appreciate.

Should he tell Kensi the truth?

No! That would not only break her heart but it would also mean the end of their already dysfunctional relationship. Wait, not relationship. Partnership. After all, he was the one who chose to end it before it even started.

From the moment Talia made her appearance at the crime scene, he feared the words that would slip her mouth. That woman was too honest and too damn unpredictable.

But most of all, he feared Kensi's reaction. He felt extremely lucky he got away with only a few shoulder punches after their first encounter. But if Kensi knew the whole truth, he would probably be in a hospital right now.

Thankfully, apart from that offensive Barbie comment – he was almost certain Kensi was restraining herself from hitting Talia at that point – Talia surprisingly managed to keep her mouth shut. But then, she just had to go on and mention how he carried her to the bathroom back then.

Why did she even do that? Why did she torture him like that? She knew all about the Kensi situation and the complications they were facing. She knew how much he loved her, so why torment him?

Finally, Kensi walked into the bullpen bathroom but before he had the chance to address to Talia he received another punch on the shoulder and he growled in pain.

"That's for not telling me how beautiful she is," she whispered in frustration "it all makes sense now. I get it. Your partner is smoking hot and you are very clearly madly in love with her."

"Will you keep your voice down," Deeks tried to silence her but in vain.

"No wonder why you liked me. I am a brunette like her, tough, bossy…Please don't tell me you were thinking of her when you were having sex with me."

"Will you stop it!" Deeks walked towards the bathroom to make sure Kensi wasn't coming out.

"That night was a mistake, ok? I was depressed, we both had a little too much to drink, you were a bit too available and….it should have never happened. "

"Wasn't I….memorable?" Talia approached him and trailed her finger from his lips down to his chest, her mouth only a breath away from his.

Deeks swallowed hard and moved away from her reach before her lips captured his. "That's enough," he growled "If Kensi finds out, it will devastate her and I will lose all the trust that I worked so hard to gain."

"You are a hypocrite, you know that?" Talia accused him raising her voice "If you really cared about her you wouldn't have ended in bed with the first woman that threw herself to you. Fine, perhaps I was a bit too available, but you not were not that far behind and surely not that drunk."

Deeks grabbed her arm and whispered in anger "You want to tell her? Fine, go ahead and tell her. Is that what you want to do? Spread misery because you chose not to be happy?"

Talia looked at him straight into those deep blue eyes "I don't spread misery. I spread honesty. I am not fighting for you, you arrogant narcissistic asshole. I am fighting to make Kensi open her eyes and see right through you! First chance you got, you betrayed her. You don't deserve her and you will only break her heart. You know you will."

"I am not you!" he released her from his grip "Just because you chose your job over the man you loved, it doesn't mean that I will do the same thing."

"Then, now that she is back, are you two finally…together together?" she smirked wickedly .

Deeks remained silent. Was Talia right after all? No! He didn't choose work over love. He chose safety. The only reason he was willing to let Kensi go, was because he didn't want to risk another reassignment. Hetty made it perfectly clear that she didn't approve their relationship. Perhaps she routed for them at first, but after seeing how they let their personal feelings interfere with their jobs she acknowledged her mistake.

No! Kensi was not a mistake. She was the best choice he had ever made in his entire life. She was the reason he woke up every morning and his last thought every night. She was the light in his life. She challenged him every time he wanted to give up and made him want to be a better man. He wanted to be her man!

When you want something, you find a way; not excuses. He was done with excuses. During all this time he let his fears consume him and cloud his judgment. But now, everything was clear. Yes, Talia was right about one thing. He was madly in love with that woman and he was not ready to lose her.

"I've made some terrible mistakes during these past few months and I am ready to pay for them," Deeks sat on the edge of the table "If you want to tell her the truth, you are free to do so."

Talia looked at him surprised by his utter serenity. "Are you pulling a poker face on me?" she tried to read his mind.

"No," he shook his head "I am being perfectly honest with you. If you don't tell her, I will. I am done lying to her. I am done making excuses. I honestly don't know why I gave in and spent that night with you. But I know it was a huge mistake, and deep down you know it too. Yes, I love her, I really do, and I will do everything within my power to win back her love."

"I think you already have her love so, don't screw it up detective." Talia smirked and punched him once again on the shoulder.

"She doesn't need to know," she continued "but don't ever make the same mistake again. She doesn't deserve that."

"I won't," Deeks sighed .

"Why don't you tell me why you guys burned down Michael Wilson's house?"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/T: This story was originally supposed to be one-shot, but since you asked for more...here it is! **

**Remember, it is only fanfiction so don't hate me much. **

**Thank you all for following reading and reviewing. Your support is the greatest fix!**

**Enjoy the last part of the story!**

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Kensi leaned forward and placed her hand on the bathroom door to support herself. She heard everything. Every single bit of the conversation between Deeks and Talia.

How could she not have seen this coming? During these four years of their partnership, Deeks always bragged about his active love life. Was she so delusional that she actually believed that everything had changed since that night they spent together? That HE had changed?

Did he and Talia sleep together during her mission in Afghanistan, or after he ended things up with her? Either way, she felt betrayed, hurt and disappointed. She trusted her heart to this man and all he did was break it like he broke every single promise he ever made to her.

She was desperately trying to hold back her tears but her battle for resolve was quickly lost. All she wanted to do was smash the bathroom mirror, punch the door, break anything within her sight. More than anything though, she wanted to hurt Deeks. She wanted him to feel the pain that was slowly breaking her into pieces.

Even if according to Deeks that night with Talia meant nothing, to Kensi it meant everything. Not only did he betray her, but he was more than willing to lie to her about it. His loyalty and honesty were now compromised.

She was on a classified mission across the world, but she found a way to contact him. She faced her ex fiancée, but she knew her heart belonged to Deeks. She experienced torture, but his vision soothed her pain. That man defined her existence, and now he so easily destroyed her.

What did she do wrong? She sat on the floor with her head in her hands sobbing; trying to pin point the exact moment when she lost him. Then again, maybe she never really had him.

She was desperately trying to justify him in her mind, but the pain in her already aching heart was just too much for her to handle. So, he was lonely and depressed. Well, so was she during those five months but cheating on him never crossed her mind. The one thought that kept her sane and strong, was coming back to him.

The more she thought about it, the more her anger consumed her and soon her hands were clenched into fists. He chased her for all these years and pushed her limits. He dared her to take the leap, and she did. She took his hand and jumped into a new chapter in her life. But it looks like Deeks let go of her hand somewhere along the way. He promised to be patient, but he failed miserably.

She stood by his side after his traumatic experience with Sidorov. Even if he kept shutting her out, she never gave up on him. She helped him heal and find himself back. She defended his questionable actions to Hetty. She was simply there for him and it wasn't because of guilt for leaving chained on that chair. It was because she cared and loved him more than anyone else in the world.

When SHE needed him though, he was nowhere to be found. He didn't know how much she needed his presence at nights. He didn't know how she kept herself up because she was afraid of the nightmares that haunted her. He didn't know that even though the scars on her face had faded away, there were more hiding below her layers of clothes. He didn't notice the dark circles under her eyes. He didn't notice that she had stopped eating and lost almost ten pound since she had gotten back.

He had missed all these changes on her because he had simply stopped looking at her the way he did in the past. Deeks reacted to his own trauma with withdrawal. Kensi on the other hand, needed his support. She needed him! But instead of devoting some valuable time to his partner, Deeks chose to turn her down and go back to where they started.

All this time he pretended to be invested in this relationship more than she ever was, but it was all a lie. After all, this was Deeks. The guy who loved the game more than the actual victory. He loved to dream, but didn't care to make those dreams come true. He loved the thrill more than normality.

How could she have missed the signs? Surely, on the job she could trust him with her life, but when it came to matters of the heart, he had a congested past.

Anger, fury and a bit of hatred clouded her mind. She didn't hate him for breaking her heart though. She hated him for tricking her into believing she could have a future with him. For dreaming a house in the suburbs with kids running around and weird neighbors. Kensi Blye never truly cared for such things. But since that shaggy, overly smug Detective forced himself into her life, that was all she could think about.

No! She wouldn't allow herself to be defeated and broken. She couldn't let him see her like this. Kensi Blye survived Afghanistan, so she would sure as hell survive a heartache.

She stood up and walked to the sink. She wiped the hot tears that were streaming down her cheeks and poured some cold water on her face. Wonder women don't cry! She took three deep breaths and regained her briefly lost composure.

She wasn't willing to let her sorrow show, but she wasn't willing to give Talia the satisfaction of victory either. She released her hair from the rubber band, put on her most confident face so that Deeks would get a clear view of what he had lost and walked out the bathroom looking hotter than ever, give him a taste of what he had missed.


End file.
